Fun with the Bennetts

The kids had a lot of fun playing with their friends Aeden and Corbin the other day. I started volunteering at our church's preschool and Jenny was kind enough to watch the girls while I was gone. Leah and Corbin play really well together. I think they are about a week apart in age...so they are pretty much into the same stuff. Jenny said that the babies were a little more difficult. She said one would cry and then the other one would start! But they are pretty darn cute! Thanks again Jenny for watching them!

Sick

So we are sick. Well, when I say we I mean everyone but me. We went from having diarrhea to a bad cough/cold and we have moved on to the nasty stomach bug that has been going around. Leah is finally feeling back to her normal self. Now Lauren has it! Leah was throwing up non stop and couldn't even keep sips of water down and got really dehydrated to the point of having no tears. So Jeremy took her to ER where they ran IV fluids into her. Poor baby! I think I cried every time she threw up. I have to say it is worse having Lauren sick though. She gives no warning just throws up. She just wants to be held. I have been up all night for the last 8 nights. I feel like a zombie. I took Lauren to the ER tonight per her doctors orders. I sat there for 5 hours. Then the doc said to just keep nursing her and giving her fluids even though she can't hold anything down. He was in and out of the room in less than a minute. He told me this after I told him she hadn't had any wet diapers since 7 am and it was 7:30pm! Good old military health care! I tell you what. So I am going to call her doctor tomorrow again and tell them what they said at ER and hope she is okay through the night. I am pissed about that. Just run an iv. It wouldn't have hurt anyone. They just wanted me to get out of there because they had a bunch of other people in the waiting room. Well, I was in the waiting room for 4 hours waiting for care too! My poor little baby is so sick. She hasn't even really been crying all that much and I know she is miserable. Jeremy has been sick since Tuesday night. That poor guy! I am just praying that I won't get it! After a month of being sick and having sick babies, I am SICK OF IT! Leah never got sick before we moved here! I think she was sick 3 times before here. Now we have been here since July and she has been sick 3 times! Oh, well....what am I doing blogging? I am losing precious sleep time.

Mixed feelings

So I am feeling like I am going to cry! I am trying to sell stuff on craigslist so we can buy the girls stuff for Christmas. I hate that! Last year I spent money like it was nothing. Now I cringe every time we have to buy diapers or new socks or anything. We have this stupid Grinch doll that is 5 feet tall and hideous. But Leah loves it! Well, I have it on craigslist and I have a lady interested. But it is going to break Leah's little heart. The lady is willing to pay $100 for him. But do I sell it to buy Leah more crap for Christmas or do I keep him and not buy as much? She calls him "my ho ho". I am feeling really depressed about this whole present thing. I know the girls are young and don't really care as much. But, I want to give them the world. Is my care during the day worth robbing them of material things? I feel like if I go back to work, I will miss out on so much. I know I will miss out. But, if I don't, am I being selfish? Do they need me or do I really need them? Leah got so sick the other night when we went out for the great date night at church. She threw up all over the place. She needed me there. I felt guilty that she had to look to someone else for comfort. I know that is what will happen if I go back to work. When she was at Lainie's, I was so jealous. I wanted to be there to wash her face and watch her grow. But I was stuck at work. She was spoiled with material things. I enjoyed working there. I didn't mind working. But I hated that she was somewhere else. Now here is kind of different. I don't have Lainie or Pat or my mom to watch her and give the girls all the love in the world. I have to give them that. If they went to daycare, they would be just another kid. But they aren't just another kid. They are my special miracles from God. We are broke all the time. It sucks. But, am I shortchanging them if I send them to daycare when we can scrape by and I can stay home? Or would it be better for all involved if I go back? Sometimes I feel inadequate as a mom. I feel like by my staying at home I am being egotistical. Like I am saying that I am SUCH an awesome mom. I am really not that great. I don't do as much as I should with them. I am an unorganized mess. But I love them. I love those babies so much. No one else can love them like I do. When Lainie was watching Leah, I felt like she loved her like she was her own. But, not like I do. Being so far away from everyone that we know and love.....it makes this decision even harder. If Pat or my mom were around to help with watching them...I would go back next week. But they aren't. And that's another thing.......come visit us! I am so homesick for how things were. I love the decision Jeremy and I made for our family. But it is so hard being away from all of you. I look at a picture I took on my phone last year at Christmas right before we left and it makes me cry every time. It is my mom holding Leah and my mom has her eyes scrunched tight like it was the last hug she would ever give Leah. I hate that we did that to our girls, by taking away their extended families out of their lives and I hate that we did that to our family. It breaks my heart. I know we made the right decision for our family. But it is still hard. I guess that is why I am feeling the pressure for this Christmas. I feel like I need to make up for something because we aren't going "home" for Christmas. We are going to have an amazing Christmas with my dad. But I will still be homesick for you guys.

A nice visit with family

We went to Florida to visit with my Dad. It was such a nice visit. We got to see Terri, Rachelle and Desi. We also got to see my Grandma, my Uncle Dan and Tammy and their kids that I had never met.


Rachelle 3 days before baby day!!


Everyone sitting by the pool.



At the diner before we left


Hanging out at my Dad's



Uncle Dan and Aunt Tammy (Jeremy loved talking politics with her!)

Lauren at Huddle House when we went to dinner in Brunswick with Brian Kaul

Our good friend Brian that is doing some training down in Brunswick...we were so excited to see him!

4 generations!

The cousins...Leah, Lauren, Desi, Markie, David and Danielle

BE CAREFUL!

Okay, so today we went to the doctor for Leah's never ending cough and Lauren's flu shot. The good doc gave us an antibiotic and Claritin for Leah. No big deal! We went to Walgreen's.....AFTER LOOKING AT THE RX....I handed the prescription over. I waited an hour when they said 30 minutes. Still, not a big deal. I am so lucky that I have a background in pharmacy. When I got home I looked at the directions on Leah's Claritin. It said to give her more than an adult dose!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. If I was any regular old person, the dose doesn't seem to be obscene. But knowing that an adult is to take 10mg daily and the doc prescribed 2.5mg daily...and they gave it to her saying 12.5mg daily. I was horrified and nauseous. If I had not realized how much that was, it could have been very very bad. I called the pharmacist. I told her what it said and waited for a reaction. It was (not very sincerely) apologetic. She said all she could do was apologize and that was that. HA! Ya right lady! I am calling Walgreen's tomorrow so she can have that put on her license. I know I know it isn't like she was giving her 3 times the dose of seizure med and Leah didn't get that high dose (because I am not an idiot). BUT, she COULD HAVE! If it was any person without a knowledge of pharmacy, she would have gotten that dose! I am sorry...not my kid! Not cool lady. Not cool. You know, I know pharmacists I have worked with have made mistakes. It does happen. But I realized that it is different when your own children are the "victim". Leah could have gotten very sick or worse. We would have definitely would have ended up in the emergency room. That is the biggest thing about chain pharmacies. They don't care. They really don't. It is a production line. I worked at enough of them to know. I urge you all to utilize your LOCALLY OWNED pharmacy. They actually care about the patient. Mistakes happen everywhere. But you know what....it doesn't make me feel better. What makes me feel better is that I took a minute to look at the prescription before I just handed it over blindly. Also, I wasn't offered counseling from the pharmacist (big boo boo in pharmacy-it is a law) AND I heard the tech ask her to override a DUR for it. I was standing right there and he told me it was in denial and he had to have her override it before he could run it through all the way. She probably didn't even look at the reject...probably just typed in the approval code and let it pass without a thought. My Leah could have been so sick. It makes me so sick.

I beg all of you....PLEASE look and understand the dose, medication and directions BEFORE handing it over. Ask the tech or pharmacist to explain it to you beforehand if you can't decipher it yourself. Or, have them triple check it at the register. AND NEVER NEVER BE AFRAID TO QUESTION YOUR PHARMACY STAFF. Really, they would prefer to not lose their licenses or kill people. :-) But seriously...understand what you are getting. Thank goodness I am not an idiot!

To work or not to work.....

So, I am thinking about going back to work part time to supplement our family's income. We are doing okay right now. I just want to be able to spend a little here and there. Jeremy won't be getting deployed for a year...so now is the time to do it. But, with Lauren being only 8 months.....I don't know if I am ready yet. I would have to pump. The girls would either be at daycare or I would work when Jeremy is home. But that leaves no time with the family together as a whole. Plus, I think it would do Leah some good to be in a preschool environment. But I want to see Lauren take her first steps and hear her first words. I missed some of that with Leah. Leah would probably love being at daycare. But I think she would resent me for it too. She always says "I need Mama". Will she be comforted when she is sad or left to work it out herself? Will Lauren take milk in a sippy? Or will she want to nurse all night long? Will the kids be happy? Will we be able to manage the kids, house and both of us working? Or will we fall back on fast food to fill our bellies because it is easier after working all day? I loved going back to work when Leah was a baby. I knew she was being cared for by a special woman that loved her like her own. It would be different if the kids were in a daycare. I just don't know. I filled out an application at Walgreen's. At least if I got a job there, it would be familiar territory. But it isn't a flexible place when you are a parent. Then again, when I worked there I didn't have kids and worked as much overtime as they would give me. Tell me Lord WHAT DO I DO? I could be earning so much. I just don't know. But what about time spent with the girls? with Jeremy? is it worth it? is being able to buy stuff worth it? I definately like the preschool atmosphere with Leah. But with Lauren.....I just don't know yet. Maybe I will get a job in the spring. But the church wants me to help with preschool next year. I want to go to school as well. How will I do it if I am working and parenting?