Monday, November 3, 2008

To work or not to work.....

So, I am thinking about going back to work part time to supplement our family's income. We are doing okay right now. I just want to be able to spend a little here and there. Jeremy won't be getting deployed for a now is the time to do it. But, with Lauren being only 8 months.....I don't know if I am ready yet. I would have to pump. The girls would either be at daycare or I would work when Jeremy is home. But that leaves no time with the family together as a whole. Plus, I think it would do Leah some good to be in a preschool environment. But I want to see Lauren take her first steps and hear her first words. I missed some of that with Leah. Leah would probably love being at daycare. But I think she would resent me for it too. She always says "I need Mama". Will she be comforted when she is sad or left to work it out herself? Will Lauren take milk in a sippy? Or will she want to nurse all night long? Will the kids be happy? Will we be able to manage the kids, house and both of us working? Or will we fall back on fast food to fill our bellies because it is easier after working all day? I loved going back to work when Leah was a baby. I knew she was being cared for by a special woman that loved her like her own. It would be different if the kids were in a daycare. I just don't know. I filled out an application at Walgreen's. At least if I got a job there, it would be familiar territory. But it isn't a flexible place when you are a parent. Then again, when I worked there I didn't have kids and worked as much overtime as they would give me. Tell me Lord WHAT DO I DO? I could be earning so much. I just don't know. But what about time spent with the girls? with Jeremy? is it worth it? is being able to buy stuff worth it? I definately like the preschool atmosphere with Leah. But with Lauren.....I just don't know yet. Maybe I will get a job in the spring. But the church wants me to help with preschool next year. I want to go to school as well. How will I do it if I am working and parenting?

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